Weather and a posh do

Well here we are on a damp old Monday lunchtime...one of those days when it never really does anything properly. The sun looks as if it might just appear but never quite gets out, it rains a bit, sort of, but not so you get wet, it's not really cold, still warmish in fact. But in the supermarket just now there were people done up for a winters day, anoracks, hats, boots you name it,.... and then theres a guy who looks like he's off to the beach!! They say the British are obsessed with the weather, but really, are you surprised!?? On Saturday evening we attended a fairly formal poshish kind of a do, (not something we do all that often). Now, I'm well known amongst family and friends as not being too successful with food and drink....(in a tidy eating kind of way), liquid seems to plop from my glass when I've hardly moved, and food leaps recklessly onto my chest with out a second thought. I can't help it, I don't mean it to happen, I'm not clumsy (no really), I think I probably try too hard to be careful and end up making it worse! So there I am, we've arrived late (traffic) everyone is seated so all eyes are on us as we are invited to sit in the only remaining seats next to the Main Man and his Wife. Mark is looking nervous........... But no matter, the duck pate and toast is a breeze, no crumbs disappearing down my cleavage.... 'red wine madam? ' yes please, not a drop spilt, marvellous, ... chat chat . Later comes the wonderful spead, a COLD BUFFET, no problem, the main table, that's us, must go first,... away we go, oh so polite. I know I must be careful, high heels and shiny floors can be a bit dicey. My plate is gradually filled with delicious morsels, a little of this and just a small bit of the salmon, ( oh I like everything), the nice waitresses are so happy I'm not the picky type. Until the very last dish that is, buttered new potatoes, I think no, I don't need any more, but the waitress is having none of it! You've had everything else you'll have my spuds! So on they go, oh well never mind I've done okay so far there's just the LONG WALK back to my table. Oh God it's a long way with a full plate.. ... You know how people look and watch when it's not ther turn, seeing how much you got....so head up, walk gracefully across that slippy old floor, half way then PLOP, a large BUTTERED SPUD goes careering across the dance floor, leaving it's buttery trail behind. Oh really! I'm mortified , why me, why not the skinny cow with two bits of lettuce and a few prawns?? Now I have to work out how to bend down , in high heels and holding a groaning plate, pick up the said slippery spud and get back to my table in one piece. Mark is looking a bit funny which makes me want to laugh. Luckily AFTER I've nearly crippled myself retrieving it in an elegant manner, a waitress scuttles alongside and rescues it, I retreat to my seat and eat SLOWLY and CAREFULLY.